"Dad, the AC in your car is not as effective." remarked Arushi, sitting in the front seat of our car as we were driving towards their school in the early morning traffic.
"Well, yes, is it causing you any trouble?" I remarked.
"Of course, Its not comfortable. The weather outside is so hot. Our school bus has a much more effective cooling system." . We had just given up on their school bus and I had started to drop and pick them up from school. This was one of my long cherished dreams.
"Good to know that your school buses have a much more effective cooling system, but that's a thing of the past. Now, you commute with me. So, this is what you need to get used to now." I remarked.
"Well, fine. For your company, I can adjust. But then the fact remains that this is uncomfortable." She was very clear on what is good and what is not.
"If it is causing you discomfort, then frankly dear, that shows your weakness." A right message at the right time is so vital to be imparted to the child.
"Weakness? How is it my weakness Dad?" Her questions were most welcome.
"Of course, a less than effective air conditioning is just one situation in front of you. This situation has been able to disturb you, which effectively means, that your defense mechanism is not very strong, or in other words, it is weak." I emphasized my point.
"I don't understand this Dad. I mean, anyone would get disturbed with this."
"Really? Do you think anyone would?" I wanted her to think and answer.
"Well, mostly, I think so." she remarked.
"But some would not, right?" I quizzed her again.
"OK, but what do you want to say?" She was getting a little impatient by now.
"What I am trying to say honey is that if it was the poor air conditioning that was causing disturbance, then it should have caused the same disturbance to each and everyone, but look at your sister on the back seat. She is as comfortable reading her novel as she is at home." I tried to explain her. "Not that I am comparing both of you, but I am trying to tell you a very subtle point.And the point is that the extent of our disturbance is not dependent on the external situation but on our strength to defend ourselves and our happiness."
"Interesting point Dad. Now I have another question."
"Shoot...Your questions can only make all of us wiser."
"If situations cannot disturb us, then are you saying that situations like an accident of our car, or a death in our family - nothing can disturb you?"
I was expecting such tough questions from her, but I was sincere, honest and prepared to answer her. "Look, I am not perfect either, But I am transforming dear. What I can only say is that I will be much more stable in such situations than your mom or probably others in the family. I have developed that inner resilience with practice and use of Destiny Cards."
"Oh yeah, the ones here..." as she pointed out to the couple of Destiny Cards kept in our car.
"Right...and if I am more stable, I can respond to those situations in a much more effective manner."
"Getting it, Dad."
"Good, so you got to become stronger. Take it as a challenge. Bring on any situation, show that you cannot get disturbed with them." It was time to drill the point through.
"Hmmm..."
"When you are studying and your sister is making noise, make sure to tell yourself that this noise cannot impact you. When your new copy spoils, tell yourself that its just fine. When you do not get 100% marks, show that every result is acceptable as long as effort is good enough. When someone scores better than you in the class, tell yourself that your competition is with yourself and not anyone else.
You will have to come up with such defense mechanisms to protect your stability and happiness."
Interesting Dad, I do see quite change in you over the last few years. I think these Destiny Cards are really helping.
Yes, if you use these cards the way they are supposed to be, they do help in the long run to change your thought process, and therefore your destiny.
As we approached the school, it was just 5 minutes before the morning bell and the traffic snarls were making it tough for us to reach in time.
"Its just 5 minutes to go. I think we might be late for school today." I tried to prepare her for the expected outcome.
Arushi smiled at me.
"We are getting late, and you are smiling?" I asked her, with a tinge of surprise.
"Dad, you are trying your best, but even after that, we are late, it is just fine. Cant help it. I cannot let this disturb me anymore."
I smiled back, and so did the younger one sitting on the back seat.
We reached a couple of minutes late. As they rushed towards the school gate and said good bye, I was wondering how easy it is to impart values in a child when you spend enough time with them. The decision to quit the school bus and ferry them to and from school is such a blessing. Spending time with my children has been such a long cherished dream.
Morning times when I drop them to school are value imparting times where I speak and they listen. Afternoon times when I bring them back from school are for me to listen, when my fairies weave their dreamy stories and share some of the naughtiest and unforgettable incidents of their school. The stupidity of a fellow child, the height of lack of knowledge of a teacher, the class jokes...and everything else.
They laugh about all these things today and these memories will remain etched in their as well as my memory for decades to come. Financial Freedom is worth any price you pay for it.
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Cheers
Manoj Arora
Stay happy.... always !!
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nice post.
ReplyDeleteCheers Harsh !!
DeleteGreat article :) I'am the one who gets disturbed with the external factors/noise. Will try to implement your advise to improve myself :)
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