Here are 5 reasons you should never even make an attempt at correcting anyone ever...
1. No one is ever wrong
Yes, even the person shouting at you in public is not wrong. Even though you may have always helped him, but he still doesn't bother about you. This does not make the other person wrong. Someone's strange and inexplicable habits do not make him or her wrong. Someone's anger, ego, greed - these do not make the person worthy of correction. Because in each such case, here is the underlying fact:
Given the same circumstances that the other person has faced, same sanskars that he has been inculcated with, and the same upbringing that he has been presented with, you would have done exactly the same thing that the other person is doing.
Yes, exactly. There would not be an iota of difference between the behaviour which you today consider as wrong, and your own behaviour - if we were to replicate the other person's past with yours - verbatim.
And I am sure you do not consider yourself wrong in most situations.
Given the same circumstances that the other person has faced, same sanskars that he has been inculcated with, and the same upbringing that he has been presented with, you would have done exactly the same thing that the other person is doing.
Yes, exactly. There would not be an iota of difference between the behaviour which you today consider as wrong, and your own behaviour - if we were to replicate the other person's past with yours - verbatim.
And I am sure you do not consider yourself wrong in most situations.
Remember that when you go back in history, it is not just about the sanskars of this birth, it goes back even further. Your soul carries the sanskars of many previous births. So, there is no point debating about the right or wrong. We are all just different because we have been put in different situations, have dealt with different people and carry different sanskars from a history of births.
So, no one is ever wrong. Yes, people can be different, very different. Learn to enjoy these differences. Take them in your stride. Take them with a pinch of salt. Smile at a strange behaviour and have pity on someone who has just betrayed you. Wish him or her a speedy recovery. Good vibrations might just help him come out and become better. Your frustration or anger is definitely not going to help.
Recommended Blog --> Daily Duels of right Vs Wrong
Recommended Blog --> Enjoy the Differences
Recommended Book --> Happiness Unlimited
Recommended Video --> Who is wrong in an argument?
So, no one is ever wrong. Yes, people can be different, very different. Learn to enjoy these differences. Take them in your stride. Take them with a pinch of salt. Smile at a strange behaviour and have pity on someone who has just betrayed you. Wish him or her a speedy recovery. Good vibrations might just help him come out and become better. Your frustration or anger is definitely not going to help.
Recommended Blog --> Daily Duels of right Vs Wrong
Recommended Blog --> Enjoy the Differences
Recommended Book --> Happiness Unlimited
Recommended Video --> Who is wrong in an argument?
2. There are so many flaws within yourself
Are you angry sometimes?
Do you misbehave sometimes with your loved ones?
Do you exhibit strange and unexpected behaviour at times?
Do you exhibit ego and frustration?
Do you get late sometimes for an important event?
Have you jumped a traffic signal off late?
Did you litter on the street recently?
Did you tell yourself the importance of morning walk and still skipped it for no reason?
In spite of telling yourself that you need to mend your ways, did you ever repeat the same mistakes? - once, twice, or even more?
Do you have full control over what you do?
Or are you also a victim of lack of control on your senses?
Do you misbehave sometimes with your loved ones?
Do you exhibit strange and unexpected behaviour at times?
Do you exhibit ego and frustration?
Do you get late sometimes for an important event?
Have you jumped a traffic signal off late?
Did you litter on the street recently?
Did you tell yourself the importance of morning walk and still skipped it for no reason?
In spite of telling yourself that you need to mend your ways, did you ever repeat the same mistakes? - once, twice, or even more?
Do you have full control over what you do?
Or are you also a victim of lack of control on your senses?
You do not have to tell me answers. I know them already. Because if the answer to any of the above questions was in the affirmative, then you are just like me - a normal human being - a statue of mistakes and errors - trying hard to self correct, but mostly in vain. This process of self correction or self transformation is slow, even if it is sure.
Now, just think about it. Do you really have the moral and ethical right to correct anyone else, when you yourself are full of flaws and exhibit lack of control on your own behaviour? I feel that we better utilize the time in self transformation than someone else's transformation. There is just too much work to do on ourselves.
Now, just think about it. Do you really have the moral and ethical right to correct anyone else, when you yourself are full of flaws and exhibit lack of control on your own behaviour? I feel that we better utilize the time in self transformation than someone else's transformation. There is just too much work to do on ourselves.
3. You are pushing an immovable wall
In spite of your own flaws, for a moment, let us imagine that you would still like to correct someone. But here is another big challenge with trying to correct someone. Changing someone's behaviour is like pushing against a thick concrete immovable wall.
At the end of the day, you would have drained up all your energy, with hardly any results to show for. There is no way anyone is going to change with your advice, suggestion or views. They do not really bother about all your passionate and well intended talk. In those rare cases, even if they do appreciate what you are trying to suggest - they are stuck with the same challenge as you have been stuck for so many years - they also exhibit the same lack of control to change themselves. It is going to take years, or may be decades of practice to get the desired result. Such an attempt to push someone to change is only going to lead to your frustration.
At the end of the day, you would have drained up all your energy, with hardly any results to show for. There is no way anyone is going to change with your advice, suggestion or views. They do not really bother about all your passionate and well intended talk. In those rare cases, even if they do appreciate what you are trying to suggest - they are stuck with the same challenge as you have been stuck for so many years - they also exhibit the same lack of control to change themselves. It is going to take years, or may be decades of practice to get the desired result. Such an attempt to push someone to change is only going to lead to your frustration.
4. Stay away. This is negative energy
Stay away from this negative energy. Trying to mend someone is like swimming against the flow of river. Instead of accepting and flowing with the flow, you are trying to go against the tide. You are offering resistance to life - and its natural positive flow. It will burn you out. Instead, try to swim with the tide. you will get to the other end - faster and less exhausted.
5. Everything is for the good, always !
Trust HIM. Whatever was said and done, was for your good - some good which you do not see today. The results of this may have a delayed gratification, but you will surely be able to connect the dots one day. All negative situations get attracted to your life - either as a justified outcome to your past karmas or to nudge you towards a direction that HE intends you to take.
Recommended Book --> Dream On
Recommended Blog --> Dots connect only in retrospect
Recommended Book --> Dream On
Recommended Blog --> Dots connect only in retrospect
Cheers
Manoj Arora
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