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From the Rat Race to Financial Freedom... A common man's journey
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Happiness Unlimited...How to be happy..always !!
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Dream On...Every setback is a little nudge from HIM to Dream On
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The Autobiography Of A Stock
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Sunday, February 23, 2014

Who can heal me?

Who is a healer? I always thought that it may be a doctor, a guru, a saint, a master, a counselor, a parent, guide or friend - someone who has an expertise in his or her area of work, someone outside me whom i can approach and get benefited, someone who can help me relieve myself of the pain or hurt that i am currently in. Everything changed as i turned the table around and looked inside.

I always looked for a healer outside, till i thought that some one outside is the creator of my pain. My pain could be in the form of stress, anxiety, worries, fear, insecurity, feeling bad. Work was going fine, i was working hard, i was socially connected, i already had a good family, friends and social circle, and in spite of all that, something was not complete in my life. I am not sure if you have ever felt the need to go and make your life complete by doing or achieving something. I used to feel this a lot.

Ironically, i did not even even know what was that "missing something", which would complete my life. This missing element was perhaps causing all the negative emotions and feelings inside me, which also ultimately caused physical pain in the long run. The long term physical pain could be in terms of life style diseases or broken relationships. I did not want to subject myself to such misery in life, and therefore wanted a solution for my internal healing.

This is when i started to realize what was wrong in this picture. For most of these pains, i would have someone "outside" to blame. May be the school teacher is wrong, or the parents are wrong, friends are wrong, spouse is wrong, children are wrong, or even the situations are not favorable. Somewhere, something, someone outside is doing something wrong, which causes me pain. 

I was usually a victim in all rejections and creation of hurt. If everything else was right, may be my stars are not right. Once the creator of my pain is outside, the healer also has to be outside. This seemed to be a very logical thinking pattern. And that's precisely the reason why we keep looking for the healer outside.

Then i realized that we have all the available healers outside us - family, friends, doctors, psychiatrists, counselors, saints, gurus, but we are still in pain somewhere. If we are not 100% happy 24 x 7, that means we are in pain, and all this is caused by just one simple illusion - and that one illusion is the (mis)understanding that the creator of my pain is outside me, and i am a victim. 

I turned it around and started to think differently. Is the healer really outside? Am I searching the healer at the right place?

I changed my belief system, and started thinking at it differently. Very soon, i realized that everything that i feel, think, speak, behave, and act, is all because of me, and no one else.  This is 100% my own creation, because i understood that thoughts and feelings are created inside and not outside. I do not let anyone go inside me and create it for me. I create it myself. 

You may ask:
"How can i create something inside without an event happening outside? e..g you may create anger inside only when someone misbehaves with you or hits his car with yours."

This was how i used to think. But then, remember that someone hitting your car is of course not your creation, but your creation starts after your car has been hit. Your creation starts with everything that you think, speak, and act after the car is hit. The way you feel is all your creation and no one else's. This is a very subtle, yet important differentiation to be made. 

Situation always comes from outside us. After that, everything that comes is from inside us. The source of my feelings and subsequent behavior after the external trigger, is all inside. Its not outside. Stop blaming someone else for your reaction or behavior. It is only your creation. Hold on and think about this thought for a few moments. Think, how "naturally" and "easily", you have been passing the buck to someone else for your day to day situations. Challenging and changing this one belief system can turn the world around you.

Just because we have seen everyone reacting after a car accident, we started labeling this reaction as right. But we must understand that this is not our nature. We know that, because we do not feel good after that burst of anger. 

The person who hits you may not be right. This person created the situation. All these come to me from outside. But after that, everything else happened inside, on which, me and only me, had the control. Thats why different people have different reactions to the same situation, because they create different thoughts and actions.

If i get the understanding that i am the creator, then i would also appreciate the reason behind my pain still existing in spite of the availability of all the healers put together. It is me, who will have to heal myself. The healer will originate form inside, which will truly heal us and lead us to happiness unlimited. But first, i must take ownership of my own feelings, and stop blaming others.

Read more about the power of happiness
Chapter 7.1 ~ The Power of Happiness is inside you - Happiness Unlimited (the book) - Launching April 2014.


Manoj Arora
You are entitled to happiness unlimited !!


  1. Whenever something happens in my life I also ask myself why did I want this, to keep some kind of ownership on whatever happens to me! So I understand your point. Best of luck for your book :)

    1. Thanks Deepak for the understanding and the appreciation.