23 Winning Jewels from the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

"How to Win Friends And Influence People" is one of the first best-selling self-help books ever published. Written by Dale Carnegie (1888–1955) and first published in 1936, it has sold over 30 million copies world-wide.

I, hereby, list down the 23 Winning Jewels that i learnt from this awesome book. I know that I need to keep practicing these learning day in and day out. These learning are worded and appended in a way that makes it easier for most of us to understand and absorb.

If you are interested in reading about such learning from other all time best selling books, you may click here.

So, here we go with our 23 Winning Jewels from this book that influenced me immensely.

1/ Don't criticize, condemn or complain. Honestly appreciate. A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of tar. That's what a word of appreciation can do to others. A human being appreciated for good things will learn much faster than the one reprimanded for bad things.

2/ A dog is the only animal who gives love to earn it's living.

3/ You can win more friends in 2 months by genuinely getting interested in them than in 2 years by making them getting interested in you.

4/ Smile while you are talking to someone over phone. Your smile is carried by your voice.

5/ Happiness is not who you are or what you have or what you do.... It's all about how you think about all these things. It's all inside and nothing outside.

6/ There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so. Most folks are almost as happy as they make up their minds to be.

7/ If there is one word that every one wants to hear again and again, it's one's own name... the sweetest and the most important word in any language.

8/ Remember as many first names as you can and ensure that you address people by there names. You may not have the technical skills to deal with your team, but this one skill can make you a people magnet.

9/ Listening genuinely is one of the highest compliments you pay to the speaker. An irritated customer, a dissatisfied employee, a frustrated human - they all just want someone who can listen with compassion.

10/ Everyone wants to be heard. Everyone. If you have a tooth ache and there are thousands who have died in, say China, what you will be more concerned about?

11/ Desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature. Make the other person feel important in any conversation and your happiness and success is guaranteed.

12/ When you listen to the other person, just give yourself the permission to understand that person instead of judging him right or wrong.

13/ When someone is opposing you, and you know you were wrong, then don't defend yourself. Follow the technique of self criticism to come out as winner from the situation. The moment you start to criticise yourself, the other person will start empathising with you. Words like "I am the most foolish person to have done this mistake" go a long way to save you.

14/ If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

15/ No one wants to change irrespective of the logic that you give. You got to be extremely gentle and just present facts and then leave it to them.

16/ A gentle sun can make you take off your coat more easily than the stormy wind. Gentleness will always score over anger.

17/ When someone is complaining, don't interrupt because even if you do, they won't listen to your point since they still have so much to say. Be patient. Let them first empty out. Then, agree with them and get them in a yes mode before you carefully put your point.

18/ The other person may be wrong but remember that they don't think so. Don't condemn them. Put yourself in their shoes. Only the wise can do that.

19/ When you cannot do away without criticism, start with appreciation and then use 'and' instead of 'but'. Example - You have been doing great in exams but you need to improve in Science. Instead,do it this way - You have been doing great in exams and I am sure you will also do well in Science.

20/ One way to point someone's mistake is to talk about your own mistakes.

21/ Don't give orders. Never. No one likes it. Give suggestions or ask leading questions.

22/ Marriage is not about finding the right person but being one.

23/ Never criticize. People are exactly what we would be under similar circumstances. A great man shows his greatness be the way he treats ordinary men.

Hope these life lessons will help shape up your thought process to some extent and help you lead a better life.

Don't have time to read the entire book? 
Then, you can read the crux of some of the best selling books ever written.

If you are interested in reading about such learnings from other 'all time best selling books', you may click here.

Cheers

Manoj Arora

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